So, Mother's Day. Saw lots of posts on Facebook about how wonderful it was, what their kids did, where they went for brunch, etc. Then, all the posts about how fulfilled they were with their children and how being a homemaker was the best thing ever. I sat here thinking...you are either on drugs or you are lying. What kind of crazy person finds any sort of thrill, let alone fulfillment in vacuuming, doing laundry, running errands, doing the dishes....or worst of all...grocery shopping and...wait for it....cooking. (I swear to God if it weren't for my children, I would be super model skinny. I loathe cooking so I just wouldn't eat. But, I am smart enough to realize my children need nourishment, so I cook for them, but I hate every minute of it)
I posted on Facebook inquiring into these women who were making these crazy posts. Was it a lie? Were they just trying to come across as perfect Super Moms? Were they actually being fulfilled by housework? Were they, gasp, actually okay with having people in their houses ALL DAY LONG? People asking them questions and wanting something from them?
Turns out, it wasn't a lie. Some women really do get satisfaction from cooking and providing meals for their families. Some women really do get satisfaction with maintaining a spotless house. (I know, I know, I'm taking their word for it. I don't know the meaning of spotless house) Some women really do get not just satisfaction, but pleasure, from being around people ALL DAY LONG. One even said she would lose her mind if she didn't have human interaction every single day.
Don't get me wrong, I love my children. I would die for them. I just don't want them around me all day long. I love my husband. He works out of state all week long. He is home on the weekends. He, too, is a solitary guy. We are compatible in our solitude. My perfect vacation would be a chair, a cat or two and a never ending stack of books and food that just magically appeared when I was hungry. There would be zero human interaction on this perfect week of bliss.
Some of my domestically inclined friends think I'm the crazy one. They can't understand how I don't take great pride and feel satisfaction from housework. (I'll be honest, I'd have to actually do it to determine if I get anything out of it). I do the bare minimum so my poor husband isn't bogged down with it when he gets home. My children have chores and they don't like them. My daughter said, why do I have to empty the dishwasher? I hate it. I said, no kidding. I hate it too, but since I'm older, I'm passing the chore onto you. She was a little shocked and said, I thought all moms liked housework. I said, you thought wrong, I hate it. Both kids looked at me for a minute, then did what they needed to. My son said, Mom, I think it's great you told us you hated housework. We can all hate housework. I think I like doing my chores better now, knowing that we are all on the same page and hate it.
I have come up with a theory, though. The domestic gene is not in every female on the planet. I know I"m an oddball because I do not like chocolate. Most women not only like it but crave it. I am not one of those women. Most women like the domestic arts. I am not one of those women. The two traits have to be linked. You either have them or you don't.
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