What Did You Just Say?

My last few posts have been somewhat philosophical, insightful and uplifting.  Today, we are making a departure.  Hope your seatbelts are fastened.......

My mother was a teacher.  I have many good friends that are teachers.  My children have excellent teachers.  That being said, they lied.  Remember when they told us  there is no such thing as a stupid question?  Yeah, um, there is.  Actually, I'm not sure it's so much of a stupid question, or a reflex question.

Two years ago, I walked into the blade of the pole saw that was hanging out of the back of the truck.  (A pole saw is a curved saw blade on a long pole, so you can trim your trees while standing on the ground)  I ripped my cheek open, cracked a tooth and bruised my gum.  I needed to have my face sutured back together.  Afterwards, walking around with three bright blue stitches in my cheek, I was asked two questions.  What did you do?  I cut my face on the blade of a pole saw.  The next question....Did it hurt? (Are you KIDDING me? I ripped my face open on a jagged metal blade, of course it hurt.)  Finally, I got fed up and said, Of course not.  Tomorrow I'm doing the other side so I have matching scars.

I walk into the grocery store on a day with torrential downpours, as in "driving 2 miles per hour because you can't see" downpour.   Had no umbrella or raincoat.  I walk into the store and the first person I see asks, oh, is it raining outside?  (Well, since you are dry and there are no puddles on the floor, I think it's safe to guess it's not raining INSIDE!  The other thought running through my head was, no, it's not raining, I just take a shower with my clothes on to save time on laundry.)

I am at a restaurant having lunch with a friend.  There are three people at the table next to me, which is set for four.  They are obviously waiting for the fourth..they keep checking their watches and saying, gee, where is she?  I hope she didn't get into an accident or anything.  Finally the mysterious fourth diner walks in.  As she approaches the table she says, sorry I'm late.  I forgot the directions and got horribly lost.  All three of the other women say, oh, did you make it here okay? (Gee, no, she's just a figment of your imagination!!  OF COURSE she made it, she's standing in front of you!!!)

At the pediatricians office, I run into someone I haven't seen in years.  My first question to her?  Oh, do you have kids that see one of the doctors here?  (No, she's just building her immune system hanging out with sick little kids, or she's got a strange addiction to the wooden bead/wire contraptions in the waiting room).  As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I apologized for being an idiot.  She laughed and said, don't worry, I was going to ask the same thing of you.  Is now the time to mention both of us had our children in very close proximity, hers and mine both saying Mom, Mom, Mom.........